I know that whatever I'm dealing with, I've had for years and if I hadn't had my exam I'd probably still be walking round thinking everything was fine - instead of the "I can't believe I have cancer" chant that runs beneath and behind every thought. I know that however bad it is, technology is better, treatments are better, and my outlook is better than it would have been years ago. But, I'm still a bit nervous/scared... found a lump in my arm pit this afternoon - I don't think I'm going to be Stage 1 for long. (I'm allowing myself some time - a few hours to a day - to digest bad news - after that it's prayers, and positive thinking - well, that's the plan).