During my first meeting with Dr. Thunder he mentioned that there is only a 30% chance that I'll have more positive nodes. On the surface, that may sound good, but since I Dr. gr8 told me I only had a 30% chance of having cancer once I walked into his office with microcalcifications on my mammograms - and I was on the losing side of that bet - 30% seems like alot to me now. That, and I know he ran the numbers based on grade 2 (when I could be grade 3), and on a 1cm focus in my SNB, and it could have been anywhere from .2cm to 2cm. So when the Dr. Avp mentioned he can't actually do the type of procedure I want (he can do the Tram flap, not the DIEP so it looks like I'll have to go out of town - which is a scheduling nightmare), and that he'd only be able to make me a small 'B' cup - and if I need radiation it could have a negative effect on the work he'd be doing, possibly shrinking the reconstructed breast 10-15% and making it hard and unnatural feeling - we've decided to do delayed reconstruction. I'm rather disappointed in that I really didn't want to look down and see nothing. It scares me quite frankly - but I do think that in the long run I'll be much happer with this decision. It will just be hard to get to that point.

I also had the prescreening for genetic testing. At first it didn't look like I really needed to be there, by the four different models they used, none of which take into account third-degree relatives, I was at < 10% chance of having a genetic mutation and 10% used to be their threshold for testing. However, during the course of the conversation they seemed to be much more interested in me when they found out that I had multiple primary tumors. Oh yes,.... without rerunning the numbers I'm definately > 10% - so we drew the blood and as long as the insurances ok's the testing we'll find out in a month or so if I'm positive for the BRCA1 or BRCA2 mutation.

Oh, and on a very personal note - my sister (half w/mom) is supposed to be informing my bio dad this weekend of my condition. I'm grateful to my sister for making this phone call, because I can't; but I want him to know so he can inform his two daughters, so they have all the info they need to take care of themselves. I hope it goes well.